Well, this week has been a really tough one for me. Frankly, I’ve been feeling pretty hacked off. I am, of course, very excited about being pregnant still but I think people who haven’t been through it don’t really understand that at this stage, a) you honestly don’t quite believe there is a little person growing inside you, b) you’re trying to be very realistic about the fact that you are right in miscarriage timezone territory and c) you feel like an absolute bag of spanners!
This is the worst I have felt so far and at the beginning of 6 weeks I started to get ‘any time of the day’ sickness so have been feeling very light-headed, very nauseous, very headachey and pretty much off my food entirely.
Most of all, what has been hard this week is the extreme fatigue. I’ve been utterly utterly exhausted. I’ve been struggling to keep my eyes open beyond about 9pm. It’s really tough not being able to tell people yet and to have to dodge nights out at work and explain why I am not doing my normal lunchtime fitness regimes.
It’s funny, people at my work are normally a bit pants at coming out for drinks and it’s normally me begging them and them declining but now the whole world wants to have a drink and wants to know why the team drunk is not participating! If they were smart, they would have determined by now what the reason is but fortunately for me in this particular situation, they are not.
The other thing that has been really hard this week is the no drinking and no smoking! I attempted to meet a friend mid-week this and I really shouldn’t have gone as I felt like dying and she seemed to think I wasn’t very happy about being pregnant. It’s hard to explain to people just how rough you can feel at this stage. Sitting there in the pub, after a sh1tty day at work looking through the window in to the beer garden at lots of people drinking wine and smoking lots of cigarettes to make themselves feel better, I felt really quite miffed. Wow, how I wanted a ciggie. I knew I couldn’t though and that was that, it’s just that being in pubs right now is not really the fun it used to be so I think I need to minimise my attendance at least until I am feeling less poorly and grumpy.
Also, I can’t believe how bloated I still am. I have had to start wearing extenders already (elasticated strips that extend your trousers). It’s very uncomfortable. I’m convinced I look like a fat bint already.
Ending the week on a high note though, Ron and I had decided to pay for an early scan. It was only £50 and I needed some peace of mind to know a) that there was actually a little thing growing inside me, b) it was growing in the right place (and not in one of the fallopian tubes) and c) how many there were! We went this morning and it was a pretty amazing experience. There is definitely just one, it is growing in the right place and it has a big old heartbeat! It was amazing, this tiny little prawn shaped being (I’m calling it Shrimpy for now) with a HUGE beating heart. I couldn’t believe how visible it was. We could hear it clearly too. It made me feel a little teary and it all feels a lot more real now. I can’t wait to see the 12 week scan now when it will look less alien and more baby-shaped. How very exciting!
- Night-time trips to the loo
- Very bloated tummy
- Bigger and sore boobs
- Nausea (not actually being sick, just feeling like I will be)
- A distinct hatred for most of my work colleagues
What an interesting week. There have been a few memorable moments all from slightly different perspectives; I'll talk about them chronologically. We didn't have any plans for last Sunday, something that's a bit unusual for us, and the morning was completely quiet and tranquil. Quiet except for the birds outside making quite a racket and that annoying pigeon with it's "rou-rouou-rou-rou-ru" ... I wish it would learn another bloody tune, but I digress. It occurred to me that these lovely quiet mornings won't last much longer and it was really nice to be able to appreciate the moment. It's funny how things naturally change when you're pregnant and your behaviours change in ways that prepare you for what's to come (physically and psychologically). I never really noticed all these things before so I'm glad that I seem a bit more aware and prepared for this child - getting old has its benefits after-all!
Natalie is definitely more tired (and grumpy) than usual; poor kid. And this week, for the first time, I had to go to the office all by myself. This probably seems as though it shouldn't be that big of a deal but since Natalie and I have been together, we have spent pretty much 24 hours a day together - and we sit next to each other at work. So when she needed to have a working from home day it was pretty depressing for me. Luckily I had plenty of opportunities to take out my frustrations on my work colleagues so it wasn't a complete disaster. I know that these days of commuting and working alone will become more frequent and the inevitable day where Natalie will be at home with the baby are really just around the corner, so that makes me a bit sad.
As Natalie mentioned in her entry this week, we went out with a friend of ours mid-week, but I enjoyed it a bit more than she did. Although I was allowed to have some wine, not having any cigarettes was pretty annoying but that side of things is getting remarkably easier for me. It certainly helps with my exercise regime, which I've finally managed to do completely for the first time since Christmas. My goal is to do a 5 mile run on Monday, my BMF (British Military Fitness) session on Wednesday and 50 laps swimming on Friday (working from home helps on this one!). The thing I find the most interesting though is - again - how I'm subconsciously preparing for baby. One of the conversations we had on Wednesday night was about my age and how difficult some people find the early days of having a child. Having thought back to having my first child (almost 18 years ago), I'm really going to need to be physically ready now. I don't think it will be too difficult, but being physically fit is a great part of being psychologically fit and there's always that ringing bell to consider!
The highlight of the week was the scan. The whole trip went perfectly; it was a beautiful day for a drive and we were seen promptly at 12:30. It still makes me smile when I think about Natalie's reaction to seeing "little shrimpy". She laughed uncontrollably with a combination of elation and shock. I'm really looking forward to the next scan where the baby will actually be baby shaped and we'll be able to start telling people our wonderful news!
I am now about 1cm long from crown to rump. My limbs are starting to form and I have little hand plates. I go through lots of kidneys at this stage in my life and this week, I will form my second set. I look a little bit like a prawn at the moment but I’m hoping that won’t last too long! In fact, my facial features are all starting to form too. I hope I get Mummy’s good looks.
At the moment, I look a bit like this (only more handsome / pretty):