Friday, 27 May 2011

8 Weeks


This week, in the spirit of positive thinking, I have been mostly researching miscarriage! I'm sure like all prospective Mummies, especially those of us who are considered 'Senior', it's a worry that is always in the back of your mind. I'm totally not being all negative and expecting the worst but equally, I am prepared for it and it occurred to me that I can cope with it happening, what I really don't like the idea of is not knowing it has happened for weeks and finding out on at a scan - a day that should be a very happy day. I had assumed that as long as I didn't bleed heavily, everything was pretty much going OK but I discovered that some people have 'missed' miscarriages where their baby dies and they don't experience any miscarriage symptoms at all. Naturally, this is a concern. It seems that in most cases though, one of the giveaway signs is that the pregnancy symptoms suddenly stop.

The internet is a strange entity. Whilst I love having all that information at my fingertips 24 hours a day, I can't help thinking it can sometimes be a curse. I think you can convince yourself you have got any disorder or illness if you read enough articles and forum posts. Last night, I ended up being hugely concerned that my b00bs didn't massively ache like they had done a couple of weeks previously and I also didn't feel like I was going to puke. Straight on to the iPhone (you don't even have to get out of bed these days to immerse yourself in information), I got myself in a right state that the baby had died and that I wouldn't know that for sure for another 4 weeks or so and was ever so upset. This morning, I feel much better though as my b00bs do in fact still hurt and when Ron made a coffee, I nearly hurled!

It's an odd thing, I feel worse physically than I have probably ever felt and part of me really wants all the symptoms to go away so I can enjoy the pregnancy (as lots of annoying people keep telling me I should be - I don't like being told how I should feel by the way!) but the other part of me doesn't want them to go away at all, at least not for a few weeks as that would probably mean something bad as happened.

I have done lots of research now and it seems it is very common for symptoms to come and go so whilst it can still be confusing, I'm not going to worry too much about it at the moment.

I see the midwife in a few days and I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping she can put my mind at rest and tell me a little bit more about the specifics of what happens in my particular area and what my options are. I also now have a date for the 12 week ultrasound. It has been booked for 23rd June so I'm very excited about that too. It will be nice to see something that looks like a baby so I can get that image of a shrimp out of my head.

Aversions / cravings-wise, the only notable differences are that I have completely gone off coffee. The mere whiff of it 100 yards away makes me want to hurl and despite never being a particular chocolate lover, I am now obsessed and need to eat lots of chocolate every day. Not the best for the lardiness potential but I have to give my body what it demands.

Current Symptoms (a running theme really)
  • Night-time trips to the loo (I fear this will go on throughout)
  • Not so bloated tummy
  • Not quite as sore boobs as last week but still a little tender
  • Nausea (not actually being sick, just feeling like I will be)
  • Light-headedness
  • Complete exhaustion and a requirement to be in bed by 9pm every day
  • A distinct hatred for most of my work colleagues


This has - without a doubt - been the worst week for me so far. It's really been very emotional and I've felt tense every day for no particular reason. It shouldn't be a huge surprise I suppose when I've added moving house and moving jobs to the having a baby agenda. These are all very stressful activities and adding them all together is an unpleasant thing - I would avoid doing these all at once given the choice. I managed to go for a long walk last weekend, which helped unwind a little. It was a very peaceful 10 miles in the very early morning - followers of my Nike+ profile can see the exact route thanks to the magic of GPS (Thank you Ronald Reagan). Also - to add insult to injury - I had five brand new shirts stolen on the train ride home earlier this week so all in all this has been a week I'd rather forget all about. Obviously writing all this down is probably a very bad way to forget ...

On the plus side, with the non-smoking going well, I can now breathe through my nose; This is a good thing. I also have a new found ability to smell - not always such a good thing considering I have to commute on the London Underground and working with technology people well ... some of the stereotypes are true. I'm looking forward to next week and hopefully a bit more focus on the nice side of being pregnant.


I am now about the size of a large raspberry at the moment. I look a lot more like a baby, although I still have webbed feet and hands! My heart is beating at about 150 beats per minute but jeez, this mahoosive heed. I'm guessing I'll be stuck with this for some time. I guess it has to be so big to house this giant brain of mine.

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