Monday, 24 October 2011

30 Weeks

MUMMY

This week, I find myself composing my blog entry from the same hospital I am intending to have Shrimpy at - William Harvey Hospital in Ashford - all things going well of course, only today I'm not here for myself, I'm here waiting for Ron to come out of surgery.

It's not been a particularly pleasant week this week on the whole and waiting for Ron to wake up is hopefully the last of the nastiness for the week and things will improve next week. I've been quite worried about Ron's operation (I didn't tell him that of course as he was already very worried himself about the general anaesthetic). The surgery itself is fairly minor but obviously there is always a risk with any operation and after watching my favourite Moto GP rider being killed yesterday (God rest your soul Simoncelli), reminding me how fragile life can be, and sitting here waiting for Ron to reappear, I've had a chance to think about how precious he is to me and how I can't even comprehend how I would carry on without my little flower as he means everything to me. I'm sure he'll be fine but it's always good to take time out to appreciate your loved ones, especially when things are as hectic as they have been for us lately.

I have been feeling particularly tetchy this week due to being incredibly tired and really quite uncomfortable so my tolerance levels have been even lower than normal (and they start from a pretty low place) so I probably haven't been that easy to live with which makes me feel even worse with poor Ron's operation that he has had on his mind. He even told me I "could be very bossy sometimes" this week. Outrageous! I did explain to him that perhaps if he tried doing what I told him to more often then he wouldn't find me so bossy, but he didn't think this was a very fair compromise!

I've been feeling generally low this week and have also found myself feeling quite disappointed with my 'friends'. Part of this I'm sure is hormones and tiredness but after spending pretty much my whole life putting other people first and running around to see them entirely at their convenience, I am a little disappointed that now I need other people to make the effort with me as it's so so hard commuting for 4 hours every day with this enormous bump and going out in town and meeting at other people's convenience is just too much for me at the moment, some people just don't seem prepared to put themselves out and even for my baby shower, which I was quite reluctant to have but my wonderful friend Meave really wanted to organise for me, some people have been pains in the @rse and made it a little about themselves when for one of the rare times in my entire life - and probably the last time I can really do this (i.e. before Shrimpy arrives), I wanted this day to be all about me! And then, some of my friends, I haven't even heard from since I've been pregnant as I stopped being the one to always get in touch first with having other things on my mind and such, so that's a little sad too.

Thankfully though, I also have some friends who have been amazing and these are the ones I will take with me always and am very grateful for and maybe when I am feeling less emotional and rubbish, I'll feel like making more of an effort again with the slightly more rubbish ones.

All this, really, is just to demonstrate how fragile and needy us pregnant women can feel at times and how much we need our buddies - even if we are too stubborn to say so!

So, now I've set the tone for this week's entry (i.e. not the most cheery of posts), I'll get down to the specifics.

Work was hell this week. I was dreading this week as two new chaps were starting to do half my job and I literally had to spend pretty much all of my week with them (perish the thought my boss might try to help out) and yet I was also expected to continue recruiting and interviewing for my main replacement AND do my normal job, including the start of a new project. This probably would have been a lot for me to cope with at the best of times but at almost 8 months pregnant - the most tired and uncomfortable I have been so far - well I would have to be Superwoman to not find this week really tough. I carried on regardless, however, and did so without poking a single colleague in the eye - that was probably the hardest part of it all and I totally believe I deserve a medal for this!

So, after interviewing yet more duds for my role, I managed to persuade my boss to interview my friend Trish who I have worked with before and, frankly, is probably about the only other person in the world who could competently do my job. My manager agreed that she was great but on telling the glorious senior management team that we should go ahead with this person, they tried to offer her (a very experienced and skilled contract tester) the equivalent of what they would pay me over the year! I was flabbergasted at their extreme ignorance of how the contract market works and have officially told them I won't be doing any more recruiting. If they want to hire a school leaver to do my job and think that is appropriate, I'm afraid they will have to find them themselves!

On Wednesday evening I met up with some work colleagues from a previous job. They always remind me that some work colleagues can be great to work with and not completely mental and quite stupid and it was a really lovely evening so it was a shame that Ron and I got caught stuck on a train just one stop outside Faversham for an hour with no announcements whatsoever before we decided to get off and order a cab to get us home. We later found out a gunman had been spotted on one of the carriages of the train and was being arrested by the armed police but after another really late night home and being £20 lighter than necessary, frankly, I was p1ssed off and feeling very sorry for myself. These kind of things are making me not want to meet people in town at all anymore, which is sad, as I enjoy seeing most of my buddies but I'd just much rather go out in Faversham of an evening at the moment as getting back late and getting up so early for work in this condition is pretty much undo-able for me anymore.

Thanks goodness for Aquanatal on Thursday evening. That perked me up a bit but I'm still a teensy bit annoyed that the midwife who takes the session hasn't brought jelly babies with her for weeks now. How rude.

Thank goodness also that the weekend was much more enjoyable than the week had been. We started with the second of the two NHS antenatal sessions and, again, this was really good and I found it very interesting. This one was focused on the what happens when you bring baby home. This is the bit most of my friends have found the hardest as you spend 9 months thinking mostly about the birth and very little time preparing yourself for the bit after. And this bit, well, this is the bit where you have another little needy person who desperately wants you to get this bit right - not that there is a right or a wrong way - but I think a lot of new parents feel that way. It was strange sitting with all the ladies at the class who were all a few weeks ahead of me as I actually felt quite tiny bump-wise compared to them. This worried me a little as, as I have mentioned, things have started to get really quite uncomfortable and with another 9 weeks to go and much more growing to do, I'm wondering just how uncomfortable things are going to become and thinking I might have to shake off my hardcore demeanour a little.

By far the biggest change in the past couple of weeks has been the even greater need to go to the toilet. Shrimpy must have moved in to a position where he is constantly sitting on my bladder as I can't last more than about 20 minutes without being desperate for the loo and this can lead to quite a bit of anxiety if you are somewhere where you can't necessarily access a toilet immediately. Even when I have just been to the toilet, I often feel like I need to go again just minutes later, even if I don't actually need to. If this continues to get worse as Shrimpy grows it is going to get pretty unbearable. I'll have to ask some of my friends whether it does actually. I am praying not,

Then, the other thing which has got worse is my swollen feet and legs. Blimey, it really does hurt to be on my feet, which, again, makes me even more fed up as I continue to stand on the tubes seething inside about my evil fellow commuters.

Anyway, sorry, back to the more positive stuff (I apologise - it's just been one of those weeks so I'm not feeling positive at all), so, after the antenatal class my parents arrived for the weekend and this was very pleasant. Sometimes, when you're feeling really fed up, the only person in the world who really understands and puts up with you is your mum so it was nice to be a bit grouchy and moany to someone who will always tolerate me as she is biased and loves me no matter what! Thanks, Mum, I felt much better after getting a few things off my chest. We had a lovely day in Canterbury where I bought some giant knickers (which has been a  well overdue Godsend - granny pants rock and 'full briefs' are so the new 'thong' in the sexy underwear stakes) and then on Sunday we went for a lovely little walk around Faversham. Ron and I showed my parents a bit more of the Faversham weirdness, as well as the beautiful countryside we have just round the corner.

As I continue this final piece from home, I can report that my little angel woke up safe and sound from surgery and apart from being fairly dazed and a little nose-bleedy, Ron is doing well and I am so relieved and happy to have him back at home. The poor lad, he now has a little less than 2 days to recover before we fly to Venice for a big family reunion where Nurse Wood will be insisting that Ron takes it easy as he really must. He's a stubborn little fecker so I know he will want to disobey me but I'm afraid I won't be budging on this one.

So, this week should be much more enjoyable, mostly because I am not in the office for a whole week and this is always a super wonderful thing. I'm really looking forward to a few days in Venice as well with Ron, his middle daughter and a few of his other family members - some that I have met and some that I haven't - and am just hoping my poor little feet can keep up with all the oldies that will be there!

Current Symptoms:
  • Ever increasing need for toilet stops, day and night
  • Swollen ankles
  • Very sore feet
  • Bleeding gums
  • Shortness of breath
  • A touch of heartburn
  • No contact lens wearing

DADDY

Again, Daddy has had a lot on his plate so no entry at the moment but will write if he gets a chance. Mostly this week though, Daddy will be in recovery.

BUMP

Ah, this week has been great. I found a squidgy thing to sit on and bounce on. It's like one of those space hopper things that were around 30 years ago or so (or so I hear). Mummy was moaning about it being her bladder or something, but I don't care, bouncing is fun - in fact it's the best fun I've had in here for months!

My hair is getting pretty long now. I've been able to experiment with different styles and am currently working the slick back look. They say (you know, those people who say stuff), I look a little Italian, which is appropriate as Mummy and Daddy tell me I'm going to Venice next week!

Also, this week, I've grown a set of balls! Well, apparently they were always there but they have finally moved from inside my pelvis to outside of my body and have come to rest next to my little pecker. It's really weird actually having little plums rattling about between my legs but I guess I'd better get used to it!

I'm head up at the moment and keep knocking my head on Mummy's ribs but I am starting to think about making that turn as I know I need to get in to a head down position in a few weeks. I'm avoiding it slightly as I don't want all the blood to rush to my head but I probably should start turning before I get too fat and run out of room. I feel almost as fat as Mummy at the moment, and she's pretty fat! Whilst I am still head up though, I have been practising something I hear is called Irish dancing. Mummy and Daddy were joking about someone / something called 'Stavros Flatley' when I was dancing away this week. I don't know who these two clowns are but, apparently, it felt a little bit like they were me, or I was them, or something - bear with me - my brain isn't quite fully developed yet and half the time I can't work out what Mummy and Daddy are jibbering on about. It made them chuckle anyway so that's nice!

Anyway, I'm doing well in here and generally it's been a good week so long may it continue ...

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