Monday, 2 January 2012

40 Weeks

MUMMY

I write to you one day short of 41 weeks, 6 days overdue and still no sign of the naughty little shrimp. Having spent another night full of contractions that were strong enough to keep me awake all night but neither strong enough, long enough or regular enough to do anything useful like push a baby out of my tummy, I don't mind telling you I'm utterly utterly fed up now. One of my many weekly 'week-by-week' emails I receive stated something along the lines of me being completely within my rights at this stage if bubs had still not arrived to be very fed up, incredibly ranty and even rude to people I think (that may just have been my interpretation but I'm sticking to it). I whole-heartedly agree so I'd like to start this post by stating a few things very clearly:

  1. I DO NOT HAVE ANY NEWS. I know people mean well when they repeatedly ask you this question every single day you go overdue (and often in the many days leading up to the due date as well) but when you feel as fed up as I do right now - when you're really tired of waiting, not being able to do anything, in quite severe pain and wake up every day thinking could this be the day and go to bed every night knowing it wasn't - the last thing I want to do is respond to multiple texts, e-mails and facebook messages or posts repeating that there is no news and that I will be in touch when there is. This is a question that answers itself. All you have to do before you get the urge to contact a pregnant lady and ask if there is any news is ask yourself, "Have I heard any news?". If the answer is no, it's a waste of thumb action to ask that already answered question.
  2. No, I will not enjoy my remaining time being pregnant! I am staggered at how many people have commented on my fed-upness of waiting by instructing me to 'enjoy it while I still can'. I'm at a loss to understand which part of being heavily pregnant / overdue they are recommending I enjoy. Is it the constant foot under the ribs pain? The severe pelvic pain that has now become so bad I can barely even stand let alone walk? Is it the constant back ache, the swollen limbs or maybe it is the headaches and nausea? I know, maybe it is the haemorrhoids that make it painful to even sit down. Whatever they are getting at, asking someone to enjoy something that is distinctly NOT enjoyable is annoying at best and a little insensitive at worst. It would be like telling someone who has a broken arm to make sure they enjoy the sensation of air on their arm while they still can as soon it will be covered with a cast. Perhaps some ladies didn't feel quite so cr@ppy in their last few days or weeks but they really should understand that not everyone's experience is the same.
  3. Yes, of course I am sleeping as much as I can and am well aware that we will be very sleep-deprived when Shrimpy arrives but again, I have been shocked at how many people feel the need to advise you on your sleep patterns; remind you that you'll never sleep again when the baby arrives; suggest that when he is here you will be wishing for those days before he arrived again etc. etc. I have a few things to say about this. Firstly, I haven't slept well my whole life so regularly only get a few hours sleep. Secondly, I have slept particularly badly throughout the entire pregnancy and in the last few weeks, I have barely slept at all at night so whilst I would love to sleep more and 'get all the sleep I can', I'm afraid this isn't entirely in my control. Thirdly, sleep isn't like money where you can bank it all up and save it for a later date. Fourthly, I am well aware that having a baby means you'll get very little sleep when they arrive, especially for the first few months - I fully expect this and am fully signed up to it. It's all part of being a Mummy and I want to be a Mummy so I'll take the bad with the good and would appreciate less raining on my parade. People also seem to forget that this is actually Ron's fourth time at becoming a Daddy so that already makes him more of an expert than most of our 'advisors'. Fifthly, and finally, I will never wish back to a time before the Shrimp was here once he has arrived and slightly take offence to any suggestions that I might. I might miss some of the things I used to do pre-Shrimp but I won't wish he wasn't here. So, people, try to avoid instructing people what their home-time habits should be in the latter stages of pregnancy. Most people are smart enough to know what they should be doing and some people are lucky enough to be able to do them. Some just have to take each day as it comes, get through it and go with the flow.
  4. No, I don't really want to discuss "how I feel" on a daily basis either. I have always despised talking about how I feel when I'm not feeling particularly good. Some people have always obsessed with going over the M.E. thing with me again and again pretty much every time I talk to them and, as much as I can, I now avoid spending any time with those people. In the same vein, some people only want to talk to me about how I am feeling now that I am in incredible discomfort and quite a lot of pain. Now, as everyone is different (I think I will make this my mantra), perhaps some people enjoy talking about how they feel when their feelings are less than positive but I'm not one of those people. Having to talk about them makes me go from being really quite fed up to very angry. What I would dearly love right now is for someone to talk to me about something entirely non-pregnancy or baby related so that I can pass the time in a more pleasant way without constant focus on how I feel until Shrimpy arrives. That would be nice. Blogging about how p1ssed off I am is, of course, allowed! I find this far more satisfying as I can get some rantiness off my chest and not have to deal with any moronic questions or deeper delving.
  5. Predictions of when the baby is going to be here are equally weary (unless they are my own of course!). What's the point of people continually telling me their theory on when Shrimpy will be here based on their own personal experience, what happened to their friend or what the local tea leaf reader said? He'll be here when he's ready or when he is forced to be on January 10th or thereabouts so let's just see what happens.
And ........ relax. There, I think that is the majority of my ranting over for this week's entry ("No, more, more Natalie", I hear you shout - OK, I'm sure there will be a bit more further down if you're lucky). Now, I apologise for the particularly negative under and overtones of this week's entry but I've always intended to be 100% honest in this blog as it's important to me that it reflects an accurate record of what was really going on at the time, and, frankly, I'm fed up. Really fed up. That's just how I feel and it's really nothing unusual as I know that my fellow NCT compatriots in the same position or friends who have also been overdue feel or felt exactly the same as I do. We don't want anyone to fix it for us, we just want to wallow a little in our own fed-upness so I would be grateful in your assistance with this. If in doubt, probably best to just leave me be until junior arrives.

Now, let's get back to the usual what's been happening this week stuff. Well, the week started with the olds visiting for a late Christmas celebration which was as pleasant as such a thing can be when you're in a lot of discomfort. We ate (one of the few things I can still do albeit limited due to the size of my itsy bitsy squished stomach) and managed to get out and about to the shops so it was nice to have a mini Christmas celebration with them.

On Tuesday, new midwife lady paid me a visit at home (as the clinics were all shut over Chrimbo) and conducted a very thorough appointment which was good. She did all the usual checks but also went over in quite a bit of detail all the things that should have been discussed by the evil midwife at the booking appointment and over the past few weeks. She was very good anyway so, again, I am very very happy that I requested a midwife change and am very satisfied that she's doing a great job. She thought the baby may have slightly moved from a full back-to-back position to a slightly back-at-the-side position so that was good.

The remainder of the week feels a little like a blur to me as very little happened of any significance. Each day I tried really hard to get out of bed and do something even if it was just walking slowly to the high street and Ron and I have spent a couple of days on various shopping excursions to do some very slow comfort shopping with me literally just taking one step at a time from shop to shop. Other than that, we've just been sitting around watching films and telly - an activity I am now REALLY sick of. I tell you, I'll be glad when normal daytime TV resumes from tomorrow as I've been really missing the usual Jeremy Kyle, Homes Under The Hammer, Bargain Hunt etc. Holiday TV is pants (I'm sure I remember it being great when I was a kid - what happened? Was it just that I grew up?). Thank God (now I'm not religious but I really do thank her for this) CBS Reality shows Judge Judy back to back pretty much all day long every day from about 9 - 6. I don't know what I'd do without her straight-talking brilliance.

New Year came and went for us in a very low key manner. We managed to get out to the pub for a quick glass of wine before the crowds all arrived which was nice (I'm starting to really miss the red stuff now and am looking forward to being able to have a couple of sneaky glasses again - even if it is at home) and whilst we were in bed before midnight, we managed to stay awake until the fireworks started and wish each other a Happy New Year. We now know of course that Shrimpy is going to be a 2012 baby so I genuinely am looking forward to everything that next year will bring. Apparently next year is the Chinese Year of the Dragon but my very good friend told me that this wasn't so, it was actually the Year of the Shrimp. I liked that, it made me a little teary (in a good way).

So, another week passes and this week, the only thing of any significance booked in is another midwife appointment at which I will be having a 'sweep'. I won't go in to the details of what this is, in case any boys are reading, but in about 50% of cases it can bring on labour in the couple of days that follow so fingers crossed she has an extra good sweep. I'd be happy for her to climb in at this stage. And I PRAY that before next week's post I will have news of a little arrival. At this week's appointment, I will be booked in to be induced as well which is likely to be for the following Tuesday so at least we will have a definitive date by which Shrimpy will be here.

Most of all, we're just desperate to meet the little man. It's a difficult time waiting for him to come out. It's funny, you spend the first about 36 weeks of pregnancy desperately hoping to not see any blood on the tissue when you have a tinkle and now, and for the past few weeks, I am desperate for that 'bloody show' that some (but not all) women get signifying labour is imminent. Equally, I spent months being terrified of my waters breaking somewhere really humiliating but right now, I couldn't care less where they break (again, they might not, only some women experience their waters breaking before labour starts - many women have them broken by the midwives during labour with a crochet needle in hospital (well, an implement similar to a crochet needle)). I also used to be very anxious about the pain of labour and very apprehensive about it starting but as I'm now in so much discomfort, seriously, bring it on and give me all you've got - I'll take it (my Mum says this is nature's way of getting you ready for coping with labour which seems to make a lot of sense).

But most, most of all, I just want him here. I still can't quite believe he is real and will be an actual living and breathing person and just want him safely in the world with us so come on little Shrimpy one, please come out and meet us. We want to give you a big cuddle.

Anyway, apologies again for the enormous rant and let me end on a slightly more positive note by wishing you all a very heartfelt and genuine Happy New Year. I hope it brings many good things to all of you and I look forward to introducing you to my little Shrimp.


Current Symptoms:
  • More frequent and stronger contractions
  • Headaches, dizziness and nausea
  • Severe pelvic pain
  • Swollen everything
  • Bleeding gums
  • Shortness of breath (slightly lessened now the baby has dropped a bit)
  • Sore shoulders
  • No contact lens wearing

DADDY

Daddy is almost as fed up with waiting as me now but busily doing a few final bits of DIY as we speak - mostly to pass the time whilst waiting for the Shrimp arrival.

BUMP

Greetings once again from the womb *sigh*. I'm probably a little over 51cm tall now and who knows what I weigh but I know I'm getting bigger by the day - a fact I don't think Mummy will thank me for when I finally come out.

I've spent most of this week coming to terms with the fact that I don't get to decide when I enter the world, which totally sucks. I'm ready. I've been ready for a week or so and I'd actually quite like to meet Mummy and Daddy too now but I don't know what the magic word is to get me out of here. I guess there's only one person that knows when I'm coming out and can make it happen and that's Mother Nature. We all know you can't mess with her.

I'm bored out of my perfectly formed brain in here now and having learnt 7 new languages in the past week, I'm really running out of things to do. I'm trying to be positive about it though as there is no point me and Mummy both being negative. I'm sure it will happen soon and in no time at all I'll be able to introduce myself to you all personally. You can even select the language.

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